Midterm Essay on Black Marriagebility Index

Let’s Get Back to Our Roots

Dear Pastors,

As an informant on the marriageability index for Black couples, I come to you in a state of grievance on this issue.  Black couples are facing an epic dilemma in these times.  No one is getting married anymore, if so, not to Black women.  This drastically affects the amount of Black couples uniting and actually staying together.  I believe that it is upon the shoulders of the Black church to keep Black couples together.  You all are the leaders.  You must unite, work on one accord, and fight to educate and bridge the gap in order to extinguish the plight of Black marriages.  The current condition of welfare, in addition to faded purpose of the original Black family lie the two overarching themes that have caused a rift in Black couples today.  I present to you a plead to join the fight to keep Black families together.

Welfare reform is a factor that has caused a rift in Black marriages.  According to author Robert B. Hill, the original intentions of welfare reform were to “provide assistance to needy families…end the dependence of needy parents on government benefits by promoting job preparation, work, and marriage, prevent the incidence of our-of-wedlock pregnancies, and encourage the formation and maintenance of two-parent families” (The Impact of Welfare Reform on Black Families).  While the original goal sounds great, it has in turn caused a rift in the marriagebility index for Black couples.  Blacks have been the least likely to get married due to the stressors of welfare, making it much harder to keep a marriage, let alone a family, together.  Fathers with low-income are required to pay higher monthly child support and mothers are not able to attend drug treatment programs often, therefore terminating their welfare.  Not only are mothers and fathers impacted, but grandmothers are often left with the brunt of raising children even when they are elderly and feeble.  This makes it a lot more difficult for Black families to work. 

Not only is welfare a problem, but the “low ratio of quality Black men” (In Search of Love and Commitment, Audrey B. Chapman).  This low ratio of eligible suitors due to the amount of Black women gaining higher degrees and higher-paying careers.  More Black women are going to college, while more Black men are going to jail.  Something needs to be done about this rift.  More Black men need Black mentors.  A push to gain a higher education, or to pursue a different form of success is necessary.  More Black male role-models are needed in order to solve this problem.

Thirdly, extinguishing the stereotypes about Black women and Black men is a key factor.  According to an article on “African-American Women and the Male-Female Relationship Dilemma:  A Counseling Perspective”, “African-American men have tended to internatlize the dominant view of African-American women as “undesirable”, “domineering”, and “second-best”.  These are disgusting stereotypes and definitely do not represent the whole of the Black female identity.  We must lift one another up in a positive light. 

Getting back to Africentric theory principles is a key solution in solving all of these issues that effect Black marriageability.  The seven Nguzu Sabaa principles must be reinforced within the church, to unite African-Americans as a community and lifting up one another in a positive light.  This can be through creating small groups where Black men and women can discuss biblical topics as well as practice loving each other.  This can also be done via programs in the church that give back to the community such as providing rides for mothers on welfare and the elderly, providing a tutoring program for those in school of all ages, and a mentorship program for men of the church where they can openly discuss issues amongst themselves, as well as go into low-income areas of the city and create a bond and advisory relationship with Black male youth. 

Another theory that would be beneficial is Empowerment Theory.  This theory builds the self-esteem of Blacks and gives them the power to make a change.  With this theory, especially within the church, perhaps giving youth leadership platforms as well as more leadership roles throughout the church, this can take place.  Inviting members of all ages to practice community service together and giving back in order to make a change is a great way to solve this.

The marriagebility index of Blacks is at a plight, but there is hope.  I ask that you join in with me to solve this problem, and to fight to increase marriageability and effectiveness of African-American relationships world-wide.  Starting small can create a great change.  Thank you.

Sincerely,

Jasmine S. Burditt