The Eligible Black Bachelors

"Living in a Class Apart" - Lawrence Otis Graham

The discussion in this article of differences within the Black community takes us all the way back to slavery.  Since the segregation within the Black race between "house slaves" and "field slaves", the light skin vs. dark skin battle has managed to thrive even today.  Graham points out that lighter-skinned slaves had access to education which lead to an impetus and accessibility to school, especially colleges and universities, which lead to "success" via well-paying and prestigious careers.  Graham's discussion of various organizations intended for the African-American elite is not left within the confounds of the article.  These organizations still exist today!  In High School when a good friend of mine asked me to be his escort in his Beautillion for Jack and Jill, I witnessed this first-hand.  I noticed that all of the parents held occupations of Doctors, Pharmacists or Business-Owners and as I grew to know more of the club members through all of the practices and meetings, I learned that they all had plans of attending either Hampton or Howard University.  When I was asked what university I planned on attending, I proudly responded - "UT".  Silence fell and I automatically felt like I had committed a sin in front of everyone for saying that.  It was the equivalence of saying I was a janitor in a room full of Brain Surgeons.  My institution of choice obviously stood as no match or comparison to theirs.  I found this very strange.  Am I saying these are bad people? No. Was I offended? Absolutely.  I shared this experience to say that much of what Graham addresses in his article very-well much still has an impact today.  The light-skin vs. dark-skin debate still continues. It may be a bit more hushed and discrete than it once was, but it still stands as a factor.  I've personally heard friends say "I refuse to marry a dark-skinned guy, I don't want black babies" and have dated guys who say they find some dark-skinned girls attractive, but would never be in a relationship with one.  While in my mind it's a completely ludicrous phenomenon that constitutes racism within a race itself, many people still stand behind this and see nothing at all wrong with it.  Below is a video that was viewed during an orientation at my internship.  The video features African-American teens discussing beauty and what it means to be dark skinned vs. light skinned. I initially found the video shocking and began to wonder how we got here, then realizing that these messages have been imbedded since we touched American soil.

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"What's Love Got to Do With It?" - Paul Offner

Offner's article goes over the various reasons why many educated Black women find it difficult to get married.  Pointing out factors such as a 2:1 ratio of Black women who attend college to Black men who attend college, the high incarceration rate for Black men and the image of Black men wanting to be with women who will take care of them, Offner gives various reasons as to why the state of the Black family is in crisis, or lacking.  As discussed in class on Tuesday, women today are encouraged to "focus on education" first before marriage" and many more women are going for PhD's.  This is not an over-night process. A Doctoral degree can take 10+ years to obtain and oftentimes after that, people are focused on building their careers in whatever fields they choose.  This is another reason unmentioned in Offner's article - time.  Black women are definitely climbing the ladder of education more quickly than Black men.  Once careers are started, it takes time and a lot of focus to build that career.  A friend of mine once said, "I don't want to be that woman who is so focused on her career, looks up 20 years from now and is still single with no husband or kids".  I simply brushed the statement off by saying something to the extent of, "Then don't be, the fight guy will come at the right time".  I shrugged my shoulders and didn't think it was that big of a deal.  This article, and other documentaries on this issue, have opened my eyes to my friend's concern.  Therefore, time and attention are other reasons that I would add to Offner's explanations.

Offner mentions single-parent households in the second half of his article.  What he doesn't mention is the potential danger that it presents in the Black male's perception of male-female roles.  I automatically connected this to the picture Offner first talks about of the main character in Baby Boy - Jodi.  Jodi was raised in a single-parent household by his mother.  Whether we'd like to admit it or not, who we're raised by and in what environment heavily influences our mindset for the future.  Black men raised in single parent homes may not always receive the male role-model that is necessary in informing them about education and how to be men.  The only picture they receive is from a woman taking care of them, and I've heard men say before "I want to marry a girl who's just like my mama". WHY? A mother is nurturing, yes, but her role is to take care of her children.  This can easily be perpetuated into - "my girlfriend/wife is supposed to take care of me".  This doesn't come off, to me, as a very appealing image.  No career, no relationship.  That's the stance for many women who are educated.  

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"Successful Women who are Childless" - William Raspberry 

The Raspberry article ties into majorly with the Offner article.  Raspberry enlightens his audience on the detrimental trend in not only Black men furthering their education, but childless Black women who are educated.  Raspberry writes that only 29% of African American women who earn $55,000 or more are married (ages 28-55).  This is a striking percentage.  In addition to this low number, Cornel West notes the trend in African-American Harvard students.  While he claims that in 1970 the male/female ratio was pretty even among Black students, today the ratio is 9:1.  These changes are a great improvement for Black women but for various factors Black men seem to be left far behind.  This article compares to Franklin's article on The Black Family because it perpetuates the disconnect that has happened over the years.  Just as 100+ years ago, 70% of Blacks were married and now they're not, we're given more reasons as to why this is happening in Raspberry's article.  With fewer children being reproduced because of fewer marriages, this places the Black family in even more of a downturn due to the lack of marriages taking place today.

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"Plight Deepens for Black Men, Studies Warn" - Erik Eckholm

In his article on the sate of Black men and employment, Eckholm reveals various statistics and studies that show how Black men have taken a hard hit in the education/job realm over the past years.  Eckholm brings up two factors that are the cause of Black men being placed in the category of highest unemployment rate.  Eckholm's reasons, via Mr. Holzer of Georgetown, are incarceration rate and enforcement of child support.  The sum of Eckholm's article shows that Black men are leading in percentage of imprisonment which leads to an automatic lesser likelihood of employment.  Incarceration = a record for life which makes it much harder, especially in an economic downturn, to find a job.  Secondly, the stance on child support presents that a higher-paying job means a larger chunk of that money going to mothers to support their children.  Therefore, traceable income becomes less favorable for men who have to pay child support.  

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"Bring me Home a Black Girl" - Audrey Edwards

Edwards gives readers an uncut view into her experience raising her son to marry within his race.  In her article she goes over her reasons and justifications as to why she is adamant about her son marrying within the Black race.  Another parent mentioned in the article gives the reason for wanting her son to marry a Black women is "I want grandchildren who look like me" (p. 179).  Sex therapist Gwendolyn Goldsby comments on interracial marriage as being "annihilation through integration, a weakening of the culture and economic resources of the Black community" (p. 178).  Annihilation through integration is, explained by Edwards, plays into the denial of one's own culture and acceptance of the dominant culture.  Edwards sternly pushes her views that Black children early on to love themselves, to accept their race, and enlightening them on their culture will encourage them to marry within the race.  This relates to the Black marriageability index today because according to Professor Gilbert, interracial marriage is one of the "intersecting factors" that lower this rate.  With the already present threat of incarceration and decline of the pursuit of education faced by Black men, interracial marriage adds to the mix.  I don't fully agree with Edwards, because if a Black man does not want to marry a Black woman, then it certainly shouldn't be forced.  I do however, agree with her principles of instilling values of one's culture in children.  The first two factors, in my opinion, should be tackled much more heavily than forcing someone to marry within their race.